Psychological studies across the world of early childhood (age 3 to 6) have provided tangible evidence stating that the experiences of the child during this period will determine to a larger extent how he interacts with his environment and the people around him during his adult life. It determines the capabilities of an individual and also the confidence that the individual will have in him.
The impact is subconscious. The child feels that he is not capable of doing even “simple” things as feeding or dressing himself. Although he may not show his dislike at being helped every time he dresses himself or does any other activity, at the subconscious level, there remains a damaging sensation.
The best way is to be very patient with the child and make him do things himself. A golden middle could be achieved by making the children initiate the activity and then very gently taking over while conversing with the child and appreciating the manner in which he is doing it. At no point in time should the child feel that he is being stopped from doing what he had started.
This does not mean that parents let children do whatever they want to, but there should be a very gentle yet firm way of telling them that whatever they have done is not appreciated by the parent. So the child gets the message and he has the feeling that he being loved as he is.
Never praise children as being “good” when they do something that you like. Rather, appreciate the activity. Rather than labeling your child as good or bad, label the activity as good or bad.
Always ensure that there is a feeling of trust between the parents and the child. If parents try to keep a secret, howsoever small it might be, and if the child knows that something is being hidden from him/her, the child will slowly lose trust in the parents. Early childhood is a very critical age and children in this age need to be handled with utmost care lest they develop negative attitudes.
Note: Information given in this article was taken from a lecture on "Early Childhood Psychology" by child psychologist Ms. Shilpa Dhumal at Vidya Pratishthan's English Medium School, Baramati (Dist. Pune) Maharashtra, India on April 11, 2009.
The Age that Creates Self-Esteem
It is this age in which the child develops his self-esteem. This age also determines the child’s capability to learn new things, to explore his surroundings and to perform, physically, mentally and emotionally. Parents should be aware of this fact and make an active effort in developing in the child high self-esteem. This could be done by making the child feel capable and lovable.
Make the Child Feel Capable
The child feels capable when he develops his ability to do different things. A general observation is that parents feel that it would be a waste of time if they let their children put on their own clothes or shoes or eat their own food. It would be a lot easier and a lot less messy if they would do it for their children. That is an absolutely normal behavior on the part of the over-caring parent, but this has a negative impact on the child.
The impact is subconscious. The child feels that he is not capable of doing even “simple” things as feeding or dressing himself. Although he may not show his dislike at being helped every time he dresses himself or does any other activity, at the subconscious level, there remains a damaging sensation.
The best way is to be very patient with the child and make him do things himself. A golden middle could be achieved by making the children initiate the activity and then very gently taking over while conversing with the child and appreciating the manner in which he is doing it. At no point in time should the child feel that he is being stopped from doing what he had started.
Make the Child Feel Lovable
Parents will always believe that they love their children more than anything in the world and they always make them feel lovable. But they have to ask themselves, is their love conditional or unconditional? Most of the times their love for their children tends to be “conditional.” So often they say to their children that if you do this, you are a good boy/girl and if you do not do this or if you do that, you are a bad boy/girl. This means that they are placing a condition for their love. The child feels that his/her parent will love him/her only if he/she does a particular thing.
This does not mean that parents let children do whatever they want to, but there should be a very gentle yet firm way of telling them that whatever they have done is not appreciated by the parent. So the child gets the message and he has the feeling that he being loved as he is.
Never praise children as being “good” when they do something that you like. Rather, appreciate the activity. Rather than labeling your child as good or bad, label the activity as good or bad.
Always ensure that there is a feeling of trust between the parents and the child. If parents try to keep a secret, howsoever small it might be, and if the child knows that something is being hidden from him/her, the child will slowly lose trust in the parents. Early childhood is a very critical age and children in this age need to be handled with utmost care lest they develop negative attitudes.
Note: Information given in this article was taken from a lecture on "Early Childhood Psychology" by child psychologist Ms. Shilpa Dhumal at Vidya Pratishthan's English Medium School, Baramati (Dist. Pune) Maharashtra, India on April 11, 2009.
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